Fall for your type (Angel Haze)

You are an ocean's breeze, I am the tidal wave.
You're every paragraph, I'm just the title page.
You have the heart I hold exactly where you desire it.
It's all so effortless like what you did to acquire it.
Each time I find it harder, just to keep my composure.
I'm tryna show you all of me, like indecent exposure.
Look... I'll be the gun, you be my holster.
I need your love, I need you closer.
Seems like forever when only an hour has past.
We falling slower than grains of salt in an hour glass.
Emotions running wild, you are who tames them.
My only means of tranquility, you are my sanctum !

&& if I could, I'd take your eyes && make them blend in w/ the stars so that whenever we're not together I'll still see them from afar.
But that's insane, I'd do what ever just to feel you.
Even all of that don't come close to what I will do!
They say love holds the power to fufill you...
Heal you, kill you, hurt && abuse you, take you away from what your use to.
I'm trying to paint a picture, like the canvas plain.
Trying to put together the words like a scrabble game.

Look, I pour my heart out in the effort just to win you.
I modify my actions soley so they won't offend you.
I mean I would wrestle time even if it'd get rewinded.
Everything you looking for, in me is where you'll find it.
So you can stop your searchin baby, I know you're hurting baby.
Your self-esteem so low sometimes that you feel worthless baby.
Okay you hide it well, but you know I can tell.
I see right through that bullshit that you be trying to sell.
So let it drop, let it fall, let it blow with the wind.
I told you once, I told you twice, && Imma tell you once again...
that I'll be here, yeah I'll be here.
&& if love is blind, then my mental is clear.
&& all we have is time && good intentions, fuck your breaks, fuck your suspicions .
Put your foot upon that gas && drive til you dont see your past.
Yeah, drive until your vision is blurred.
&& let my voice tell our story... SPOKEN WORD !

Fuck em, let em hate, we're where they never was.
&& fucking Shakespeare couldn't have wrote a better love.
But people tell me that I'm tripping when I say your different.
&& when they ask me how, I cant provide a description
... You don't need one...
I would disconnect them all, like a broken joint.
Just to prove I only see you like a focal point.
I know that the distances, might cause some complications.
But you make me feel good, fucked up, exonerated.
Still I wonder what you're like beneath the shackles that you're wearing.
I been longing to release you from a load thats overbearing.
Tell me, are you protected by your gaurd boo ?
Or could I blow && make it fall like cards do ?
&& I ain't interested til it involves you.
You got your doors locked, && I just saw through.
Have you reached the height of loneliness ? Cuz we all do !
But everything that goes up gotta fall too !

My first time, falling for your type. =)

Until Fingers Meet Keys:

Access Granted...DENIED

A while ago I use to come home from school on the train,I would take the Los Angles Blue Line, then the Redondo Beach Green Line, and either the 710 or 210 (which ever came first). Everyday this guy would take the same two trains && the same bus. I thought he was cute, but I never said anything.

One day on my way home while waiting for the Blue Line I saw him and he looked bothered. I wanted to say something but this girl walked up to him who apparently knew him and they held a conversation all the way until our train reached the Green Line. While waiting for the Green Line Train his phone rang, he had got a call from someone that his grandfather had died. He was tore up, he even cried, I wanted to reach out and hug him but I thought that maybe it wasnt the right time (and a little weird since I didn't know him). My heart was banging on my chest to say something, do something. I just sat there. I never saw him again, at least not in person.

About two weeks later I was watching a show I recorded on DVR. Sometimes te shows last longer than they should so I always set it to keep recording for 3 mins after the show ends. As the show that I was watching went off the news was coming on, I was getting ready to change the channel when I saw the headline that a "young man" had been killed, they showed a picture, it was him.

Calling all hearts to the battle field! How many times would you be willing to put your heart on the line for the sake of love? It seems to me that the majority of guys will give it a shot once; however, if the female in question fails to catch their heart in time, they're done.

When it comes to me, I believe that you should put your all into giving your heart to someone. But what happens if you're giving your heart to someone and they don’t realize it? Or they don't feel the same way at all? Or say they weren't ready for it at that point in time? How long do you wait before you try again?

Then comes the time where you feel like you're so close yet so far away. Nobody wants to make the first move so you’re stuck at a standstill. Afraid to go first because of the possibility that the other person doesn't feel the same way. At the end of the day you close your eyes with a rapid herd of "What ifs" stampeding towards you.

You have to learn to take chances. In the blink of an eye they may be gone without you ever having the chance to tell them how you feel. My mom always told me if you feel as though you should do something for somebody or say something to them, jump at the chance, you never know how it may change their lives for the better.

P.S I Love You (alot)

Until Fingers Meet Keys:

She's Gone ! (pt 2)

*Takes a deep breath && sighs*

They say yu never know what yu got til it's gone. Well baby, "I tried to told ya"/ My love for yu was deep, so I tried to stay strong. But, yu wouldn't let me hold yu/ && all those nights i longed for yu left me w. tears pouring lyke rain/ while i've moved on, the past is haunting yu, so now.. yu feel my pain/ everything yu said sound so good to me, but i culdnt help but wonder if its lies/ remember the times yu made love to me? did yu see the hurt in my eyes/ did yu know i was giving my all to yu ? cuz yu damn sure threw it away/ did yu know another nigga culdnt stand tall to yu ? or were yu busy w. other women all day/ one man's trash is another man's treaure, i wish yu knew my worth b4 all of these letters/ one man's pain is another man's pleasure, so he dusted me off && vowed to treat me better/ Hakuna Matata tho, your day is sure to come so baby please hold on/ u'll have to go through alot of hoes b4 finding a queen to sit on ur thrown/ remember that yu will always have a friend in me, whenever, from dusk till dawn/ but the girl who was once madly in love with yu told me to tell yu She's Gone !

Until Fingers Meet Keys:

She's Gone ! (pt 1)

A letter/poem from my first love

Pain, since i've lost you, i'm lost too/ nigga feeling like he at the bottom like a horseshoe/ sorry for the trouble i put you & your heart through/ God knows i'd do anything for a part two/ prayin for the day you come back sayin you forgive me/ give me another chance im needing it like a kidney/ i dont wanna advance, give me back your hands/ give me back your touch, i dont ask 4 much/ but i fucked up, i know i fucked up, i admit i fucked up/ but everybody fuck up, now this other nigga lucked up/ you were my down bitch, i was yo solider/ i was yo gangsta, you were my shoulder/ you were the pistol to my holster... BANG !
You forgot about the house, you forgot about the ring/ I remember everything. i just wanna hear you sing/ i remember the love right after the fights/ you cant tell me you dont remember those nights/and if i would cry, then you would cry twice/ to me, you are the brightest star under sunlight/ see this is just a nightmare so i blink twice/ open up my eyes, hopin you'll be in my sight/ and i hope that nigga know he got a queen/ and all i can do is dream... Damn !

Until Fingers Meet Keys:

&& It Finally Hit Me

So the other day I was kinda upset with my boyfriend because a slip up that he made (I won't say exactly what he said because quite frankly ya'll don't need to know all of that.) Anyways what he said truly bothered me and he really didn't understand why. Later that night as I re-capped my day, I realized that I wasn't to sure of why what he said bothered me so much either. I layed up for a couple of hours watching TV && It Finally Hit Me... it all has to do with my father.

As some of you may know I'm not an only child. My half-sister Trina was lucky enough to have me born July 11, EXACTLY 18 years after she was born (Long Story). A couple of years ago her mother passed which led Trina and I to be reunited with [our father] Walter (neither one of us had heard from him since I was 3 months old, obviously she remembers more about him than me). The day that I met him, he decided that it was Trina who he wanted to bond with. At first I thought it was because her mom had just passed, however as time went on I saw that there was more to it.

Never before the day I met my father had he ever called me to wish me a happy birthday, yet for some reason when his birthday came around he called me to ask why I didn't call him. To put the icing on the cake, when my birthday rolled around again I recieved no call, however my sister got a call and a birthday check. I was beyond hurt, I couldn't even make up an excuse for him. It wasn't like he could have forgot, me and her were born on the same date !

To this day my "father" and my sister maintain a wonderful healthy relationship, while I on the other hand, have not heard from him since his birthday. I feel unwanted, like... maybe there's something wrong with me. I really do not understand why he doesn't want to claim me, show me to the world, and act like I'm his daughter and he's my father.

So back to what I started off talking about, I want, have, NEED to be claimed. It bothers me to my core when I'm not, I feel incomplete when I'm not... I need my Daddy. . .

Until Fingers Meet Keys: