Until Fingers Meet Keys:
Luxe Not Lust - Sponsored Post
14 years ago
Showing posts with label Realization. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Realization. Show all posts
20120628
I Want to Fall
I want to fall so deep that it envelopes all of me from head to toe, not an inch, not a centimeter of me left uncovered. I want to fall so hard that it leaves me scarred, permanently, I don't want to ever get rid of the proof that I've fallen. I want people to look at me and see what has happened to me. I want to inspire others to fall. When I fall I want to fall forever, a never ending fall that is so blissful that I can't help but start my fall all over again. I want to fall into eyes that can see my soul, into a soul that can touch my heart, into a heart that beats for my life, into a life that cherishes my fall. I want to fall a fall that never fails, that never tarnishes, that never breaks. I want to fall knowing that the one I'm falling for is falling too. Even though my passion is to fall long and hard, I know that it will be pain free, a fall that is only meant for me. No one will ever be able to fall the way that I've fallen, it won't measure up, it won't feel the same, the effects of the fall won't set them free. I want to fall in rhythm, to a melody, to a tone, to a beat that matches the one of his heart. I want to fall rapidly, slowly, obliviously, and knowingly. With the passion of a painter who has spotted the perfect muse, the excitement of an artist who just got airplay, the joy of a writer who has just been published. I want the fall to swallow me whole like his oversized sweatshirt, drench me like running in the rain hand in hand without an umbrella, capture me like a snapshot of him kissing me deeply with no remorse. I want the fall to lead to a door that is him, and reveal all that is me. I want to fall... in love.
20120413
Untitled
&& if I let it, you would be the very death of me. Taking every single breath from me, squeezing me, teasing me as the tears roll down my face && wiping them away before they reach my chin. Holding me close when I lay my head on your chest as you mock me within, fighting back your urge to grin. Whispering in my ear "smile, because everything is gonna be okay" as you proceed to sharpen the knife you'll use to stab me w/ the very next day. && oh silly me, I fall in love w/ the beautiful lies you tell, for my backbone has become so frail that even the smallest ounce of truth can crush every part of me. Throw your darts at me, && pull them out tenderly, promise that you'll never hinder me as you chain me to the gates of hell. Remind me that you'll never let me go as you set me off to sail. It's not the dark that I'm afraid, but what's visible in the light, our issues go unnoticed when the day turns to night. && even then peaceful moments turn into fights. && yet this is what I live for, the times where you reach out for my hands && slam my fingers in the door. Screaming at the top of your lungs that you love me, but proving w/ your actions that you hate me more. It's amazing that I can live like this, wrapped up in such a hideous bliss, refusing to let go, refusing to accept all that I know. Sweet love you can be so bitter, very much so an acquired taste, tell me that if I give up now it wouldn't make me a quitter, because my heart is growing tired running in this race. Tell me that if I leave today, tomorrow you'll still remember my face. && if I stay, show me that all my love isn't going to waste. && this is what I dream for, reality speaks blaspheme && loneliness chases after me. In my dreams I can live out my fantasy, pretend as though everything you say is true, looking at gray skies but seeing them blue, laughing at the world because I'm the only thing that matters to you. Oh the agony of waking up, the stress it causes to believe you're moving forward but realize you've been doing nothing but backing up. Were we ever suppose to make it this far ? When did we stop wishing on shooting stars ? && when did you let go of my hand ? && Why didn't you tell me that this is how we would end ?
Until Fingers Meet Keys:
20110521
Fall for your type (Angel Haze)
You are an ocean's breeze, I am the tidal wave.
You're every paragraph, I'm just the title page.
You have the heart I hold exactly where you desire it.
It's all so effortless like what you did to acquire it.
Each time I find it harder, just to keep my composure.
I'm tryna show you all of me, like indecent exposure.
Look... I'll be the gun, you be my holster.
I need your love, I need you closer.
Seems like forever when only an hour has past.
We falling slower than grains of salt in an hour glass.
Emotions running wild, you are who tames them.
My only means of tranquility, you are my sanctum !
&& if I could, I'd take your eyes && make them blend in w/ the stars so that whenever we're not together I'll still see them from afar.
But that's insane, I'd do what ever just to feel you.
Even all of that don't come close to what I will do!
They say love holds the power to fufill you...
Heal you, kill you, hurt && abuse you, take you away from what your use to.
I'm trying to paint a picture, like the canvas plain.
Trying to put together the words like a scrabble game.
Look, I pour my heart out in the effort just to win you.
I modify my actions soley so they won't offend you.
I mean I would wrestle time even if it'd get rewinded.
Everything you looking for, in me is where you'll find it.
So you can stop your searchin baby, I know you're hurting baby.
Your self-esteem so low sometimes that you feel worthless baby.
Okay you hide it well, but you know I can tell.
I see right through that bullshit that you be trying to sell.
So let it drop, let it fall, let it blow with the wind.
I told you once, I told you twice, && Imma tell you once again...
that I'll be here, yeah I'll be here.
&& if love is blind, then my mental is clear.
&& all we have is time && good intentions, fuck your breaks, fuck your suspicions .
Put your foot upon that gas && drive til you dont see your past.
Yeah, drive until your vision is blurred.
&& let my voice tell our story... SPOKEN WORD !
Fuck em, let em hate, we're where they never was.
&& fucking Shakespeare couldn't have wrote a better love.
But people tell me that I'm tripping when I say your different.
&& when they ask me how, I cant provide a description
... You don't need one...
I would disconnect them all, like a broken joint.
Just to prove I only see you like a focal point.
I know that the distances, might cause some complications.
But you make me feel good, fucked up, exonerated.
Still I wonder what you're like beneath the shackles that you're wearing.
I been longing to release you from a load thats overbearing.
Tell me, are you protected by your gaurd boo ?
Or could I blow && make it fall like cards do ?
&& I ain't interested til it involves you.
You got your doors locked, && I just saw through.
Have you reached the height of loneliness ? Cuz we all do !
But everything that goes up gotta fall too !
My first time, falling for your type. =)
You're every paragraph, I'm just the title page.
You have the heart I hold exactly where you desire it.
It's all so effortless like what you did to acquire it.
Each time I find it harder, just to keep my composure.
I'm tryna show you all of me, like indecent exposure.
Look... I'll be the gun, you be my holster.
I need your love, I need you closer.
Seems like forever when only an hour has past.
We falling slower than grains of salt in an hour glass.
Emotions running wild, you are who tames them.
My only means of tranquility, you are my sanctum !
&& if I could, I'd take your eyes && make them blend in w/ the stars so that whenever we're not together I'll still see them from afar.
But that's insane, I'd do what ever just to feel you.
Even all of that don't come close to what I will do!
They say love holds the power to fufill you...
Heal you, kill you, hurt && abuse you, take you away from what your use to.
I'm trying to paint a picture, like the canvas plain.
Trying to put together the words like a scrabble game.
Look, I pour my heart out in the effort just to win you.
I modify my actions soley so they won't offend you.
I mean I would wrestle time even if it'd get rewinded.
Everything you looking for, in me is where you'll find it.
So you can stop your searchin baby, I know you're hurting baby.
Your self-esteem so low sometimes that you feel worthless baby.
Okay you hide it well, but you know I can tell.
I see right through that bullshit that you be trying to sell.
So let it drop, let it fall, let it blow with the wind.
I told you once, I told you twice, && Imma tell you once again...
that I'll be here, yeah I'll be here.
&& if love is blind, then my mental is clear.
&& all we have is time && good intentions, fuck your breaks, fuck your suspicions .
Put your foot upon that gas && drive til you dont see your past.
Yeah, drive until your vision is blurred.
&& let my voice tell our story... SPOKEN WORD !
Fuck em, let em hate, we're where they never was.
&& fucking Shakespeare couldn't have wrote a better love.
But people tell me that I'm tripping when I say your different.
&& when they ask me how, I cant provide a description
... You don't need one...
I would disconnect them all, like a broken joint.
Just to prove I only see you like a focal point.
I know that the distances, might cause some complications.
But you make me feel good, fucked up, exonerated.
Still I wonder what you're like beneath the shackles that you're wearing.
I been longing to release you from a load thats overbearing.
Tell me, are you protected by your gaurd boo ?
Or could I blow && make it fall like cards do ?
&& I ain't interested til it involves you.
You got your doors locked, && I just saw through.
Have you reached the height of loneliness ? Cuz we all do !
But everything that goes up gotta fall too !
My first time, falling for your type. =)
Until Fingers Meet Keys:
20110201
Access Granted...DENIED
A while ago I use to come home from school on the train,I would take the Los Angles Blue Line, then the Redondo Beach Green Line, and either the 710 or 210 (which ever came first). Everyday this guy would take the same two trains && the same bus. I thought he was cute, but I never said anything.
One day on my way home while waiting for the Blue Line I saw him and he looked bothered. I wanted to say something but this girl walked up to him who apparently knew him and they held a conversation all the way until our train reached the Green Line. While waiting for the Green Line Train his phone rang, he had got a call from someone that his grandfather had died. He was tore up, he even cried, I wanted to reach out and hug him but I thought that maybe it wasnt the right time (and a little weird since I didn't know him). My heart was banging on my chest to say something, do something. I just sat there. I never saw him again, at least not in person.
About two weeks later I was watching a show I recorded on DVR. Sometimes te shows last longer than they should so I always set it to keep recording for 3 mins after the show ends. As the show that I was watching went off the news was coming on, I was getting ready to change the channel when I saw the headline that a "young man" had been killed, they showed a picture, it was him.
Calling all hearts to the battle field! How many times would you be willing to put your heart on the line for the sake of love? It seems to me that the majority of guys will give it a shot once; however, if the female in question fails to catch their heart in time, they're done.
When it comes to me, I believe that you should put your all into giving your heart to someone. But what happens if you're giving your heart to someone and they don’t realize it? Or they don't feel the same way at all? Or say they weren't ready for it at that point in time? How long do you wait before you try again?
Then comes the time where you feel like you're so close yet so far away. Nobody wants to make the first move so you’re stuck at a standstill. Afraid to go first because of the possibility that the other person doesn't feel the same way. At the end of the day you close your eyes with a rapid herd of "What ifs" stampeding towards you.
You have to learn to take chances. In the blink of an eye they may be gone without you ever having the chance to tell them how you feel. My mom always told me if you feel as though you should do something for somebody or say something to them, jump at the chance, you never know how it may change their lives for the better.
P.S I Love You (alot)
One day on my way home while waiting for the Blue Line I saw him and he looked bothered. I wanted to say something but this girl walked up to him who apparently knew him and they held a conversation all the way until our train reached the Green Line. While waiting for the Green Line Train his phone rang, he had got a call from someone that his grandfather had died. He was tore up, he even cried, I wanted to reach out and hug him but I thought that maybe it wasnt the right time (and a little weird since I didn't know him). My heart was banging on my chest to say something, do something. I just sat there. I never saw him again, at least not in person.
About two weeks later I was watching a show I recorded on DVR. Sometimes te shows last longer than they should so I always set it to keep recording for 3 mins after the show ends. As the show that I was watching went off the news was coming on, I was getting ready to change the channel when I saw the headline that a "young man" had been killed, they showed a picture, it was him.
Calling all hearts to the battle field! How many times would you be willing to put your heart on the line for the sake of love? It seems to me that the majority of guys will give it a shot once; however, if the female in question fails to catch their heart in time, they're done.
When it comes to me, I believe that you should put your all into giving your heart to someone. But what happens if you're giving your heart to someone and they don’t realize it? Or they don't feel the same way at all? Or say they weren't ready for it at that point in time? How long do you wait before you try again?
Then comes the time where you feel like you're so close yet so far away. Nobody wants to make the first move so you’re stuck at a standstill. Afraid to go first because of the possibility that the other person doesn't feel the same way. At the end of the day you close your eyes with a rapid herd of "What ifs" stampeding towards you.
You have to learn to take chances. In the blink of an eye they may be gone without you ever having the chance to tell them how you feel. My mom always told me if you feel as though you should do something for somebody or say something to them, jump at the chance, you never know how it may change their lives for the better.
P.S I Love You (alot)
Until Fingers Meet Keys:
20101116
She's Gone ! (pt 2)
*Takes a deep breath && sighs*
They say yu never know what yu got til it's gone. Well baby, "I tried to told ya"/ My love for yu was deep, so I tried to stay strong. But, yu wouldn't let me hold yu/ && all those nights i longed for yu left me w. tears pouring lyke rain/ while i've moved on, the past is haunting yu, so now.. yu feel my pain/ everything yu said sound so good to me, but i culdnt help but wonder if its lies/ remember the times yu made love to me? did yu see the hurt in my eyes/ did yu know i was giving my all to yu ? cuz yu damn sure threw it away/ did yu know another nigga culdnt stand tall to yu ? or were yu busy w. other women all day/ one man's trash is another man's treaure, i wish yu knew my worth b4 all of these letters/ one man's pain is another man's pleasure, so he dusted me off && vowed to treat me better/ Hakuna Matata tho, your day is sure to come so baby please hold on/ u'll have to go through alot of hoes b4 finding a queen to sit on ur thrown/ remember that yu will always have a friend in me, whenever, from dusk till dawn/ but the girl who was once madly in love with yu told me to tell yu She's Gone !
They say yu never know what yu got til it's gone. Well baby, "I tried to told ya"/ My love for yu was deep, so I tried to stay strong. But, yu wouldn't let me hold yu/ && all those nights i longed for yu left me w. tears pouring lyke rain/ while i've moved on, the past is haunting yu, so now.. yu feel my pain/ everything yu said sound so good to me, but i culdnt help but wonder if its lies/ remember the times yu made love to me? did yu see the hurt in my eyes/ did yu know i was giving my all to yu ? cuz yu damn sure threw it away/ did yu know another nigga culdnt stand tall to yu ? or were yu busy w. other women all day/ one man's trash is another man's treaure, i wish yu knew my worth b4 all of these letters/ one man's pain is another man's pleasure, so he dusted me off && vowed to treat me better/ Hakuna Matata tho, your day is sure to come so baby please hold on/ u'll have to go through alot of hoes b4 finding a queen to sit on ur thrown/ remember that yu will always have a friend in me, whenever, from dusk till dawn/ but the girl who was once madly in love with yu told me to tell yu She's Gone !
Until Fingers Meet Keys:
She's Gone ! (pt 1)
A letter/poem from my first love
Pain, since i've lost you, i'm lost too/ nigga feeling like he at the bottom like a horseshoe/ sorry for the trouble i put you & your heart through/ God knows i'd do anything for a part two/ prayin for the day you come back sayin you forgive me/ give me another chance im needing it like a kidney/ i dont wanna advance, give me back your hands/ give me back your touch, i dont ask 4 much/ but i fucked up, i know i fucked up, i admit i fucked up/ but everybody fuck up, now this other nigga lucked up/ you were my down bitch, i was yo solider/ i was yo gangsta, you were my shoulder/ you were the pistol to my holster... BANG !
You forgot about the house, you forgot about the ring/ I remember everything. i just wanna hear you sing/ i remember the love right after the fights/ you cant tell me you dont remember those nights/and if i would cry, then you would cry twice/ to me, you are the brightest star under sunlight/ see this is just a nightmare so i blink twice/ open up my eyes, hopin you'll be in my sight/ and i hope that nigga know he got a queen/ and all i can do is dream... Damn !
Until Fingers Meet Keys:
20100326
Beautiful Nightmare
I KNOW the song is old but it doesn't matter to me ! Bare w/ me, I promise there is logic to my madness.
Okay so I'm a big Beyonce fan, love her to death. But I thought she made no sense when she sang the words, "You can be my sweet dreeeeeeam, or a beautiful nightmare, either way I dont wanna wake up from you. . ." I understand the whole sweet dream ordeal, but a beautiful nightmare ? She lost me at that point. Regardless the song was still my Jam Lyke Jelly.
So the other night I had this dream right ? *nod your head && say yea* (lol) I was climbing up this mountain crying && the whole trip to the top there was a voice (not in my head, more like someone behind me) begging me to turn around. Well I'm stubborn so that only made me keep going. When I get to the top I turn around to face the shadow looking person following me. (I have no clue who it was, but you know how you can sense a person of importance in your dreams, well it was kinda like that). Without another word I jumped off of the side of the cliff, but my shirt gets caught on a branch && I fall on a ledge. When I look up to go back I realize that the shadow person had jumped after me... but instead of surviving they hit the ground never to return again.
Then I understood what the song "Beautiful Nightmare" meant. Who ever that person was had so much love for me that they didn't want to live without me. They gave up everything just on the THOUGHT that I would no longer be there with them. THE TRUE MEANING OF A BEAUTIFUL NIGHTMARE.
Okay so I'm a big Beyonce fan, love her to death. But I thought she made no sense when she sang the words, "You can be my sweet dreeeeeeam, or a beautiful nightmare, either way I dont wanna wake up from you. . ." I understand the whole sweet dream ordeal, but a beautiful nightmare ? She lost me at that point. Regardless the song was still my Jam Lyke Jelly.
So the other night I had this dream right ? *nod your head && say yea* (lol) I was climbing up this mountain crying && the whole trip to the top there was a voice (not in my head, more like someone behind me) begging me to turn around. Well I'm stubborn so that only made me keep going. When I get to the top I turn around to face the shadow looking person following me. (I have no clue who it was, but you know how you can sense a person of importance in your dreams, well it was kinda like that). Without another word I jumped off of the side of the cliff, but my shirt gets caught on a branch && I fall on a ledge. When I look up to go back I realize that the shadow person had jumped after me... but instead of surviving they hit the ground never to return again.
Then I understood what the song "Beautiful Nightmare" meant. Who ever that person was had so much love for me that they didn't want to live without me. They gave up everything just on the THOUGHT that I would no longer be there with them. THE TRUE MEANING OF A BEAUTIFUL NIGHTMARE.
Until Fingers Meet Keys:
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